The intellectual basis for your standard astrology column is pretty threadbare— for example, the idea that all the variety of experience lived through by humans the planet over in a single day could be distilled down to a variation on one of twelve themes. So I’m obviously coming at this from the skeptic perspective.

I’ve always liked Free Will Astrology for being content with bon mots and humane sound advice in place of earth-rattling predictions. You can imagine, then, how this caught my attention yesterday:

SCORPIO: You know me: I hate to sound sensationalistic. But in honor of this dramatic moment in your story, I’ll risk it. So be alert! Heads up! Get real! A pivotal moment is upon you! What you do in the coming days will ultimately determine how you will interpret the entire past year, shaping the contours of your history for better or worse! I advise maximum integrity! I suggest thorough preparation! I urge timely action! Decisions should come from the roots, not the surface! Climaxes should be mediated by the heart and head together, not just one or the other!

… this hot on the heels of one last week admonishing me to surrender one fixation, two habits and three dogmatic beliefs. I don’t know what the Bad Boys of the Zodiac did to engender such portentous prognosticating, but it sure is tough being a Scorpio sometimes. Curse my having been born between October 23rd and November 21st!