Archives for posts with tag: news

Today in Shamelessly Stolen, we are proud to bring you (via reddit) “Kenny Strasser,” a phony “yo-yo champion” who managed to dupe multiple Midwestern television stations into having him on the air.

“I got really dizzy.” Make sure to check out the accompanying news story, where you’ll see such other gems as him forgetting his string at home (leading to a bizarre yo-yo free conversation with a yo-yo master) and him answering his phone, live on the air. Move over, Muntadhar al Zaidi— it’s time for a new Personal Hero.

…regarding today’s zany day on Wall Street. I’ve already always hated it when people celebrate wild upswing days— “stock market up X hundred points! System works!” Any system volatile enough it can swing multiple percentage points in a day— positive or negative!— does not strike me as a stable enough foundation to build modern society on.

The selling was a result of technical glitches that caused some stocks, including Dow component Procter & Gamble (PGFortune 500), to plunge 37% to $39.37 per share from the close of $62.12 Wednesday. The consumer products maker recovered most of that loss by the close, ending just 2% lower.

But the faulty P&G trading was responsible for 172 of the 998.50 points that the Dow Jones industrial average (INDU) lost at its worst, the biggest one-day point decline on an intraday basis in Dow Jones history.

A 22 point loss in one stock leads to a 172 point loss in an averaged index? Does anybody else feel like they’re either missing something or being fleeced over? While we’re at it… if all this glitch talk is meant to assuage us that this is abnormal, “special case” volatility— do they really think the idea of the world’s financial health being a typo away from catastrophe is going to make us feel any better?

Meanwhile, the Senate votes down the Brown-Kaufman amendment limiting the size of banks to something (theoretically) less than Too Big To Fail. I really enjoy this idiotic quote from Judd Gregg:

I don’t understand this Brown-Kaufman amendment. Basically, what it says is if you’re successful… you’re going to break them up? I mean, where does this stop? Do we take McDonald’s on?

You tell ’em, Judd! There’s no tradition in America of breaking up massive corporations with a stranglehold on the marketplace.

A team of researchers sequenced the gene to produce wooly mammoth hemoglobin.

Then they inserted the gene into bacteria which grew it— and it has anti-freeze properties. Let’s hope dinosaur urine cures cancer and that can be the science story of 2010 instead of ongoing ecological devastation.

(By the way— regarding the Gulf disaster— I really hope it stops increasing exponentially soon. 5k a day— 20k— 200k gallons a day according to this article! I think that’s about 3/10ths of an Olympic size swimming pool. But I also noticed the estimate of total discharge in that article was 1.6 million— almost an order of magnitude less than the estimate I read in another article today.

That’s about 4.2 million gallons then— six Olympic size swimming pools. See if you can find Sam and I getting married for scale.)

That “worst case” is the increasingly likely, Ian MacDonald derived leak estimate. So, uh, well… fuck.

An Obama joke from the stupid Press Club dinner to make up for that profanity (I learned it from Dick Cheney, after all):

Unfortunately, John McCain couldn’t make it. Recently he claimed that he had never identified himself as a maverick. And we all know what happens in Arizona when you don’t have ID. Adios, amigo.

Seeing comments on it like this gem from “60sCynic”

Well, I’m off to free parking and spending money in Bellevue & Issaquah. And no swerving to avoid Critical Masss Terrorists.

really helps validate my decision to internally ridicule today’s anti-McGinn editorial in the Seattle Times. Also, do you think the “mayoral dust storm” reference in the opening paragraph is meant to be a Pigpen reference?

When I see graphs like this,

it makes me think somebody thinks we’re just playing a video game.

In local news, my father noticed this hole in a pipe near Pixie Falls.

Looks pretty gross— iron, oxidizing from the inside of the pipe, dumping right into Whatcom Creek? The same Whatcom Creek that people fish beneath Dupont and C Street? I guess that the Olympic Pipeline disaster didn’t stop them to begin with, but, again— pretty gross.

In global news, pretty disturbing to come home to news of poor Poland’s terrible tragedy. The extent of the experience lost alone is devastating— looking at the list of people who died and thinking about the psychohistorical significance of the place it occurred, it’s akin to Barack and Michelle, Hillary Clinton and two of her deputies, Rahm Emmanuel, Mike Mullen, all of the Joint Chiefs, the head of the NSA, a famous actor in his seventies (Robert Redford?), multiple famous historians (Ken Burns? The Team of Rivals guy?) and a group of Bataan Death March survivors and their relatives all dying in a plane crash flying into the Philippines to attend a commemoration. Only, really, the analogy breaks down at the psychohistorical point; I can’t think of anything like Katyn as close to our own borders and involving a neighbor with whom we have as complicated a relationship as the Warsaw-Pact-plus-things-like-Katyn-and-Solidarity Poland-Russia cagematch. Very sad day— cross your fingers that it was “just” a plane crash and not something that lends itself to conspiracy in the least.